My October 17th Experience 2

December 10, 2017 No Comment
Steeping out of the office all I had wanted to do was speak to two people, that’s my mum and the guy I thought I was in a relationship with but I couldn't call him,  well that’s a gist for another BlogSpot.  I called my mum and told her what had happened and she told me to be calm about it and not be rude to anyone.  Everyone at the service centre expected me to be all teary and moody; when I told them what I was called for, they  tried to place one and two together, telling me why it affected me was cause I was the oldest staff in my wing and the rest are been payed lower than me, but I really never believed the gist , as I knew there was more to this than what I was told was the reason.

 I noticed on my arrival back to the service centre that my manger tried all he could to avoid a facial contact with me.  my friend literally cried and was shocked i wasn't doing the same that she had to ask why I wasn't even sad or crying about what had just happened to me, my reply was I had seen worse days and worse events, and this is one of the many events that would make me a better and more improved person and that tears really don’t change anything.  

Our trip back home that day was quite cold as she was still grieving over the lost of my job. Mum had already announced to my siblings before I got home, because as soon as I arrived home my younger brother went on telling me how sorry he was for what happened and how he would be unable to take money from my bag without him letting me know about it. My sister went on lamenting jokingly on  how there’s no one to tell to please get stuffs on their way back, all those words got to me though, but still not one drop of tears was seen on my face.

However,  all I still wanted was to talk to man I thought I had a thing going on with, but the call never came at all and that was where I felt broken, it made me realize that I was in all this on my own, that I really had no shoulder to lean on when I needed one. I had gone to my brothers room to call it a day when I think my phone rang or I made up my mine to place a call over as we hadn't even spoken in like almost two days. All I could hear from the other side of the phone was Ng, I don’t think I can do this any more, a lot went through my mind that I could barely talk and the only strength I had was to mutter the words no problem, though I just lost my job and had wanted to let you know about it, but it’s all fine and I will be fine. 

He sighed in disappointment for not been sensitive and for been selfish to only think about himself that he picked up his phone and placed a call through to me again as I had already ended the call on him. His words were so much relief for me as it put a smile on my face without him even knowing about it. I went to bed feeling a little relieved and excited about the next work day as I knew I wasn't going back there as a full staff any more.


You know the worse feeling for one to ever have is that feeling of rejection and feeling of less value. I felt that way because I and my friend worked at the same organization and also lived together as room mate, while I was asked to drop down from work for their inability to pay, she wasn't affected.

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